Seven Days Of Bad Luck

When i woke up this morning, i knew right away that this is going to be a fucked up week. "How'd you know?", she asked. I told her i was a psychic. i laughed at myself in saying that but i'm still disoriented from lack of sleep so i didn't bother to take it back.

"i have so many things to do today", i absentmindedly told her while sipping a lamely heated cup of coffee. She wondered why i was not moving my ass off to prepare for the things that need attending. I simply reminded her that it is going to be a week of bad luck anyway, so why bother. i proceeded in deliberately brushing the topic aside by giving her compliments. She bought it.

We've been talking for days now. And in that brief period of time, i felt at ease talking to her. I told her everything, confide with her my troubles, why am i feeling shitty most of the time. I told her that i consider her as my sanctuary. And she liked it because according to her, it's closely knitted to the state of bliss. I wanted to protest but i guess, i'll let it pass.

Unmindful of the fact that i have to attend a presentation, i continued chatting with her about music, paintings, photographs, doodling heart shaped stuff. Yeah, it can't be denied. I'm feeling a strong attraction for this girl. However, since it is a self-proclaimed week of bad luck, it started happening. Somewhere in our conversation, i goddam blurted out if she would like to join me for dinner that night. And then goddam, take it back by saying, never mind.

"Why?", she asked. She was referring as to why i have taken back the proposal. i was dumbstruck. Not that i don't have any reason. The fact is, i have the perfect reason why i had to take it back. i was not inclined to say it for fear that it might hurt her in some way. It is a perfect reason, in the sense that i don't want her and the other people to think that i am bouncing since i just recently came out from a devastating relationship with someone. And the truth is... i'm still hurting.. It is perfect, in the sense that... i simply wanted for everything to be perfect this time. Do you get me? i panicked... and what a mistake that was.

I excused myself for the hope that she'd forget i ever asked. And since this is a week of bad luck, of course, i received from her a note saying, " I do not want to talk to you anymore."

In my frustration, i tore the calendar off the wall, took a pentel pen and scribbled a couple of straight lines across the next seven days including this very day. Talking to myself now, "I told you this is a week of bad luck. God should have goddam stricken this week off the calendar. And come to think of it... I am still stuck in Day One and six fucking days to go!"