Seven Days Of Bad Luck: Day 3

Day 3. I woke up with a sore hump on my temple. It sucks to think that this is one of the price i had to pay for loving someone, a nice round hump. Damn! Where's that freakin' aspirin?

Upon learning that i have already used up all the aspirin, i contented myself in firing up a cigarette. I pulled up the blinds to make sure i didn't miss the sun this time. Fuck! Feeling the unbearable sting in my eyes when the sudden rush of sunlight poured in the room, i almost burned myself when the lighted cigarette dropped on my goddam lap. I immediately rolled it back down. Now, aside from burning myself to death, what other productive things can i possibly do at this point in time?

Hmm..what if i go to school and hope to pass on this misery to someone else? But I haven't lifted a page. I'm pretty sure i'll be called if i report in class today since my prof is itching like a wild bitch in a hot summer afternoon to call me for recitation due to my number of absences. Well, what do i have to lose? I am a walking "L" word according to my sister-in-law's sister.

Lost in this nonsensical trail of thoughts, i found myself inside the classroom, armed with nothing but a pen and iPod tucked inside my side pocket. And indeed, like a wild bitch in a hot summer afternoon that he was, he called my fucking name. I stood up. "Do you agree?" He asked but his mind seemed to wander off somewhere.

What the fuck! I agree with what? I haven't heard a shit. I've been quietly dozing off at the back of the room and here you are asking me if i agree about some shit i didn't hear. Were you not paying attention sir? Of course, all these thoughts were nicely encapsulated in my simple and dignified reply, "No sir, i disagree."

"And why?" Good thing he yawned because i swear to God, i could have beaten him to it. This was hopeless. I am an empty incarnate vessel. Nothing. I am nothing. In desperation, i allowed myself what supposedly bright people do in cases like these. Eyes on the upper right corner of the eyes. Mouth half open. Look as if your into something... At this point, i heard the intro guitar for Pearl Jam's Black song, I think i was on the chorus that time:

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine

In desperation, i sang it loud and hard in my head. Over and over and over. I was bleeding. Somewhere, i'm pretty sure i was bleeding amidst the stares of the anticipating audience. I don't see any blood but i'm pretty sure i was bleeding from where i was standing. I am nothing. Cipher. Nada. Nihil. Zilch. Zero.

I think i spent the rest of the day standing up in shame with a fuckin lump on my head... i don't know. Who gives a fuck anyway?