We Shot The Sheriff

I bet that caught your attention. If there is such an award for The Worst Title Giver then, that would be me. You can ask Ma'am Shiela about that.

Anyway, I just would like to share how this whole project materialized since Roy is being so mysterious and all. He is the one hiding under the pseudonym iamweasel. He is one of my best friends since highschool. For some reason during his hibernation in the mountains, it dawned upon him the idea of getting into photography. For years, he trained in the mountains shooting birds, people, trees, clouds... i can hardly count the body bags! He did this all on his own. Well, at some point, he took a vocational course in photography for a few months. Here is the mugshot of the culprit with his so-called pearly white smile. If found, kindly return to Abigail.

It is amazing how three bottles of Red Horse beer can change a person's perspective over something. After downing my share of our elixir in one of our drinking marathon while staring at these alien materials in my hand, the words just struck me. It is all over the pictures. Can you see that? Can you feel it too? I felt the urge to write it down. I can't explain how it is exactly, but it is more like a trance for me. I liked it. Hence, here we are now in this Lil Dark Room.

As you may have noticed, we've done this for months, went on roadtrips, shoot here, shoot there. God! I lost count now as to how many body bags would there be if we were firing a live gun. It was only recently that we have decided to share this to others. We hope you enjoyed your visit. For sure, there will be more to come. I am expecting that one of our good friend would also join us here in this Lil Dark Room pretty soon. And at this point, i leave you with one of Bob Marley's songs...

Thanks guys! God Speed!

The Search For The Last Hero Of Zaraphina: Devil's Sonata

The Menace:
The wheels has been set in motion
The cork removed from this sturdy vessel
Arise the death machine, from the darkness
the time is now to rise from your slumber

Tearing the vestiges of the past
Feel the shockwave of anger and pulsating trauma
I've only wanted to feel that you really love me
But it is a blade that pierces between these ribs

Just like you i longed to touch, feel and breathe
Your fire consumed the remaining humanity in me
Is it deep enough or should i push it further?
Hush now, wipe those tears, soon this will be over

The Messenger:
Tell me something about this parable
Why have you come and destroy us all
Why have you come and shove us to our fall
What have we done to offend you in a way?

The Menace:
Oh I am not changing anything
It has always been the way it is
You're the one who created the monster in me
The day you took my love away from me

I've always thought that that this is something i can bear
But what you're doing is something no one can get used to
I thought my face being down in the mud is justified
But somehow this is something that only pigs can get used to

And now that there's nothing i can care about
I'll bring you all here with me
Coz there's nothing more i can care about
I'll just bring you all here with me

And when everything is pacified
See all the things that i defiled
And realize that it's just the same as if...
I've never.. been... here.

The Search For The Last Hero Of Zaraphina: The Awakening

The Messenger:

You gnawed and spit blood, broken bones, those lovely teeth

Eat on the bricks of chopped down dreams, bring it down now dear

The angst of a deprived, hungry creature of sin finally emerging victorious

your demise is now under construction as we feed towards your direction

A sad news of a previous mistake

A text written in blood, sayin’ you’re next

Perturbed as the reports came barging in

is taking form on its own…

Shapeshifter behemoth son demon of Abraham

Blue flame aura enveloped sending chills in every warriors’ spine…

Lifting off…… one step back to the watery grave

Send in the recon captain, this is going to be another long day…

A call of distress from far away galaxy… will you come and save the day?

Decode… battling answers across a rampaging asteroids of riddles

Will you get it in time… before everyone else is long dead and gone?

While we wait… mind if i stay here a lil bit longer?

While i try to grapple and get the message in order?

Decode… battling answers across space and time continuum

will you get it in time before… it is all dead and gone?

The lady weeps… numbers are going down fast

The spineless darkling, behemoth devil son of Abraham

Apocalyptic killing spree, guns for the children

fight or be devoured by the blue flamed nightmare

Is there still sun behind this crimson sky?

Enter violin… enter sound of destruction… enter despair…

enter monotonous beat… drown us now… lay us to rest…

as we partake in this bloody awakening…

under this crimson sky.

An Attempt To Synthesize Love And Reason: Episode 3.108

Just before you draw the line between right and wrong

And just before i step out of the bounds of reason
Let me conjure up the remaining sanity
To utter the words that could make even a little bit of sense
To everything that had just taken place...

In dealing with the intricacies of arriving to a consensus

How much tears shall we wage before we arrive to a truce?

In dealing with our plans to be together till the end

How many innocent shall fall to make fate bend?

In the attempt to synthesize love and reason.
Blood and tears i paid the price oh! i was the perfect fool
in your hands, the things i hold dear cast and vanish to oblivion
in the attempt to synthesize love and reason,
i lost her... yes, i lost her now.

In the four corners of this lil dark room..
I searched for you, my passion... my one obsession..

in my attempt to synthesize...
to love... to reason...
to feel... to live...

i lost her... yes, i lost her now...
i lost you...

i lost me.

Love Story

When i first saw her, i shooed her away. I hated it everytime that one eye of her stares blankly at me and moving her head from side to side as if asking what i am doing. up until now, i do not understand why she likes to stand behind my door. Goddamit! I hated it. She leaves an awful mess whenever i step out of the room. one day, i could not take it anymore. i hastily dragged her downstairs and outside the house with a stern warning that if she ever comes back in my life, i will have her kicked out of the house literally.

she cried days and nights. The funny thing is somehow, those muffled cries got into me. I felt sorry. And to make matters worse, i kinda felt that i missed her so i invited her in. when i opened the door, she jumped onto me as if i have been gone for centuries. yeah yeah... i hate to admit it but... i think i love my sister's one eyed dog now. that is my love story.

you... what have you done lately?

Who Am I

"Who am I?", an age-old question that even the greatest philosophers of our time can not provide even an ounce of persuasive response. Decartes in a seemingly inebriated state uttered "cogito ergo sum!" without a magic wand while Heraclitus got stuck on his "One and the Many" concept as their explanation. Several fields of study have been established, numerous treatises have been written, countries going to war, body counts increased, seas of blood and tears wasted just to be able to come up with the answer to this question, "Who am I?". There maybe some hints from here and there but still, these are not conclusive as to who I really am.

When I first encountered the question, I thought that this is elementary. But as I delve deeper in contemplation for a response to this question, realization struck me that I myself do not have the answer to this rudimentary query. So rudimentary indeed that the question is closely associated with the notion of Urstoff, a concept concerning a primordial matter raised by a supposedly inquisitive individual now long dead and gone. Yeah, he died without coming up with a really good answer goddamit!

Meanwhile, I found myself being a part of several academic institutions in my pursuit of my own answer to the question. I looked for the answer in philosophy and law and yet the answer to the question still escapes me. I also looked for it in music, sex, drugs, alcohol, piercings, mosh pits, fist fights but only to realize that these things only drew me farther and farther to my goal.

There are times that I only come to know about myself according to the perception of others. I learned that i used to have a girl's legs when i was younger from my grandma; that i sometimes snore when I sleep according to my girlfriend; that I drive like I am driving a funeral car according to my sister-in-law; that I looked like Kapitan Boom according to a text message from a psychotic ex days ago; that I am an ass sometimes according to my younger sister, so on and so forth. However, all these observation fails to explain the very essence of my existence. It failed to answer questions like why am i here in the first place? Why i react this way? What would I do to get from point A to point B? Why am I being an ass sometimes as alleged by my sister? Unlike other living and soulless creature or inanimate objects, why can't anyone predict my fate? measure potentials? Formulate a catalyst that can draw out a positive or negative response from me with pinpoint accuracy?

All the while i thought after being through with so much bullcrap in my life, i can come up with something that would entitle me to get at least a grace point for this endeavour. Well, i guess i failed. With a cigarette on one hand, I thought of what to say about my life.. about who i am.. I thought of it so hard that i can feel a vein fiercely throbbing over my forehead as if it's going to explode. Only to realize that i have been slapped on the face with the truth that after living life for several years, i may have a general idea of who i am like i am 27 years old, single, an owner of a one-eyed dog, a complacent post graduate student but the fact still remains that i have no idea who i really am... for all you and i know, i might just be Superman if i start wearing my brief outside my pants... which by the way, i am starting to seriously entertain now since it is raining hard outside and i do not want my jeans to get wet.

Beer Tragedy

Last night, i went out with some friends in Quattro Timog. We were on table D7. The table was a little messy. It showed some signs that somebody gobbled down a beer and for some reason unknown to me, seemed to have left in a hurry. i called the attention of the waiter in a mafioso manner like in the 80's movie (to quote our department manager). We ordered the quezon city's finest macho mags. Oh! the sight of red horse overflowing on the gigantic mugs. If only i could swim inside it, I'd be stripping down my clothes right there. I managed to keep my composure over the thought and savor the taste of beer in silence, leaving nothing but ice on the bottom of the mug.

Out of nowhere, this lady approached me. What a beautiful sight! She got these rosy cheeks and a smile embroidered in braces. She got a tattoo on her ass... yes, this is one thing that can get my eyes off my macho mug. I knew she would be selling me something. i knew it would be overpriced. I chanted this fact in my head over and over... until she began to lean over and speak closely on my ear.

"Sir, are you interested in buying this marlboro lights with free lighter..."

I am pretty sure she was still uttering something but i can't make out the words that came out after that for i was consumed with the lovely scent of her breath and the graceful movement of her mouth.

After that encounter, i found myself P100 poorer than ever and a lighter to remind me of my folly.

Letters

A growing obsession...
A yearning in every clicks and backspaces...
A wish for a glimpse...
Of that angelina jolie smile

A pop up message...
An indifferent news of three hundred...
A question of her disposition...
Behind that angelina jolie pose

A post for submission...
A silent wish waiting to be granted...
Sealed a prayer that behind the letters...
Behind the thoughts about unfamiliar territories...
That feelings would somehow be revealed.

A stifled feeling...
Like a renewed grace point in the morning...
None that a warning can kill...
None that a letter can tell.

What Is A True Writer

I just would like to share what i've written as an entry to a short essay writing contest by my boss. I don't know if i am allowed to do this but what that the heck! as if he got time to read this blog. Here goes:

I remember a story told by a lady professor of mine back in college about an award-winning literary piece and if my memory serves me right, it was entitled “A Bashful One”. She told us that the only thing written in that poem was the title and a plain period right in the middle of it. Upon hearing this, we laughed at first only then to realize that the message was quite clear. If the person uttered something on that poem then that would not make him or her a bashful one, is it not?

What then is the basis for being a true writer given that a simple punctuation mark can reveal so much to others? I opine that a true writer is one who can clearly and creatively convey his thoughts to the readers. All other things are just guidelines to be followed for purposes of convenience and order.

Colors of Manila Bay

It was by mere accident that I trampled and witnessed the magnificent and awesome beauty of the sun as it gradually slides down the border of Manila Bay. The fact that I did not have my camera with me at that moment, I was disheartened but then a firm resolution was formed that I shall capture the beauty I have just witnessed the following day.

Hoping to shoot the exact glorious world famous sunset at Manila bay that I have seen, I was dumbfounded and surprised to learn that what laid before me was yet another masterpiece... far different from what I hoped and expected to capture the day before.

Wondering if there is ever a day that the sunset of Manila Bay would present a replica of its previous presentation, I frequented the place only to realize that Nature mysteriously paints different masterpieces for each day, using different array of colors, different arrangement, different set of emotion and mood to avid onlookers silently sitting on the seawall.My quest to capture the colors of Manila Bay is a humbling experience for me. It led me to a realization that the sunset as best viewed in the said place is indeed an endearing reminder to all of us that God is present in nature... that he is an artist by heart... that God is a painter and Manila Bay is his canvas.